When The Laws Of Physics Spontaneously Change
Once I fell down, but at that exact moment the laws of physics spontaneously changed and the Earth’s mass started repelling objects of smaller mass instead of attracting them, so I was shot into space at a rapid pace. Not having a pressure suit or oxygen supply I grew concerned. But then I noticed that the Earth’s atmosphere was also being hurled into space, which meant that space was no longer a vacuum. So I grabbed a lawn chair that was flying nearby and decided to enjoy the ride. Until I notice that I was on a trajectory headed directly for the Sun, which was now shooting super heated hydrogen my way. Figuring that 5778 degree heat would still be a bit toasty, I looked for a way to change course quickly.
Suddenly I saw an iPhone drift by, and sure enough there was an app for that. So I plotted a course that would use the new anti-gravity of the Moon to push my lawn chair out of the way of imminent destruction. Unfortunately it also pushed me out of range faster than the speed of the hurtling oxygen I was using to survive. I began to get light headed and everything faded to black. What happened next, I can only guess, as I have no recollection. But my hypothesis is that the laws of physics spontaneously changed again causing everything to reverse at a constant rate. I theorize this because, amazingly, I woke up on the ground at the same exact spot I began my fall.
I am pretty sure the rapid reversal in physics also erased memories of the event in mass because no one else seems to remember it except me. Which was probably due to my oxygen deprived brain being in stasis, rendering it immune to the erasure of memory. Imagine having to live with the knowledge of being the only human witness to a universal change in matter, time, and space, knowing full well no one will believe you. Which is why I have not come forward with my story before, and wouldn’t have at all except, on a whim, I shared it with the dude taking my order at the Taco Bell drive-through and he totally believed me.
Photo: NASA - GOES Satellite